I Did Learn Something in College - my photography professors words are haunting me

Okay, crash course update of what I haven't posted about:

In December, January, and February I was at home in Indiana celebrating, working, and regrouping. I took a 17-day trip in January to visit Anika (my bestie and roommate from college) in Hilo Hawaii. 

I spent March in Sarasota Florida working for Jeff (my uncle) at Der Dutchman. 

April 8th I took off from Florida and went along the Gulf coast and saw all kinds of new places and people. 

I went to a worm gruntin’ festival in Florida, had my first gumbo in Mississippi, and listened to street music in New Orleans. Then went on to visit various old and new friends in Texas and Arizona (thank you to everyone who hosted me) before deciding to head north to the national parks in Utah! 

Life is so beautiful, so lush, so diverse, and so deserving of awe. 

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5/5/25 Journal Entry 

I am in a time of it

A time of space 

A time of time 

The Earth is life 

A familiar soothing,  

Her sun pinkens cheeks

And breeze pricks at nape hairs 

The Earth is time and space 

In the Earth I find it  

Deep beneath the surface 

Where worms nest and ant treasures fester

solitude, connection, peace, pain, pleasure, growth

You fill in the blank 

It can be whatever you want 

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The past few weeks I have been so fortunate to spend time in Sedona Arizona, Grand Canyon National Park, and Zion National Park. The immensity of their landscape leaves me in awe often. I sit, eyes and mouth agape, trying to permanently burn the images into my brain. A picture is never good enough. So much so, that I’ve stopped pulling out my phone to try to capture every second (this is also partly due to constantly being out of storage space lol). 

This anti-phone-picture-taking point of view reminds me of Jerry, a professor of mine in college. He taught various visual arts classes and always had opinions, rants, and ideas he felt were important to share - regardless of their relevance in class. Jerry is one of those professors that at first you’re scared of, but eventually realize he’s just trying to be funny (except for when he’s not), then all of the sudden going to class feels like kindergarten show and tell with Jerry trying to keep us from derailing every 20 seconds. (This dynamic might also be from the array of amazing creatives i got to call my peers all jam-packed in a tiny room). 

A quote from Thomas (friend/fellow classmate/artist/photographer) when asked about describing Jerry:

“Uhhh Jerry: deeply intelligent and thoughtful, but believes in growth through trial and disapproves of limited effort, he’s a grumpy old stuffed animal” 

This feels very accurate. 

Anyhow, one of those rants has popped up frequently as I’ve been traveling. During a lecture that I can’t specifically recall he went off about how everyone who goes to famous places. They whip out their smartphones, recreate a photo they’ve already seen (think Eiffel Tower), snap a few shots, and promptly move on. “Perfect, this will look great on my instabook” (this is not a direct quote but might as well be), simultaneously missing the whole point of being there and the purpose of photography. 

Although I felt like this judgment from the grumpy stuffed animal was harsh in the moment, the more I experience, the more I realize he may have had a point. Occasionally I feel like I’m taking my camera places out of obligation “I’m here, I need to document it” almost for proof of being where I am, like just existing there isn’t enough. It makes photography feel like a chore, or that I’m taking photos for the purpose of showing them to others.

 I hate when I feel this way about my beloved camera. 

On the other hand; when I am inspired, taking photos feels as thoughtless and necessary as breathing. My camera and I are working together to create a piece of art. Trading a proof of life for a proof of living. Creating an idea or expression or something that says “Hey! Here I am! Look here, this is who I am!”sets me on fire. I come to life when I capture a scene with meaning - a photo that you have to inspect, think about, and decipher. That is why I love photography, and that is what Jerry was trying to tell us. 

I can’t decide if he would be proud that I finally got it, or roll his eyes because it took me this long. 

It’s special that I am still learning from my professors even though they don’t profess to me anymore. Thank’s Jerry for a bit of perspective. 

Until next time: be well and love well,

Mariah 

P.S. I am no better than anyone else and took the iconic photo Jerry hates hehe

Hiking The Narrows in Zion